1 week down.....

Its been like going cold turkey for a smoker or drug addict. I still can't really chew. Sick of baby food and smoothies all week, I tried to eat some grilled salmon mashed up like tunafish. But alas, even that was painful. I washed it down with some sorbet to numb my mouth. Today I've advanced to oatmeal but without the fun stuff like raisins and granola.

Once I'm finished with the braces, the dentist is attempting to recommend me to a speech therapist. For what, I'm not exactly sure. I've had a speech impediment for 30 years now, and I can't see how braces would make it WORSE. I quickly objected. I can still remember my speech therapy sessions from elementary school and how she made me feel as if i had a case of mild retardation because of a lisp. Then my speech teacher in college told me I could be so beautiful if it wasn't for that horrible lisp. Thanks but no thanks. Wearing braces is torture enough for me.

51 weeks to go....

Day Two of The World of Braces

So yesterday, my first full day with braces was pretty painless. The painkillers and sleeping all day really helped that. Today my girlfriend was having a picnic at Central Park. She thought I was playing when my RSVP said I was bringing applesauce. Well the rain spoiled the picnic so we had it in her house. Luckily someone forgot to bring the cheese platter they said they'd bring. It was torture enough watchin everyone eat but cheese would have put me over the top. We had a nice day though.

Now I'm home heating up my baby food. My mom's a genius and suggested it as something I can eat. No wonder kids don't like vegetables. I got a box with 6 different flavors. One of which was green beans, corn and rice. The color alone should have been sign enough. If that's a kids first introduction to beans its no wonder. No, they aren't playing when they push the bowl away as you try to feed them, or get more on their clothes than in their mouths. That mess is DISGUSTING. The oatmeal and pears is pretty good though. That and a glass of wine is my dinner. What a gourmet meal!

my adventure with braces begins.....

somehow, i escaped adolescence without getting braces. (my brother however, was not so lucky)
I'm not sure I would have survived the experience as a kid. I'm very self conscious of my teeth to start with. That along with my lisp. I think only now that I'm older am I more comfortable with it.
And being me, why would I like to remain comfortable???

So at 30, I've decided to bite the bullet, and get braces. When I asked my brother how bad it will be, he said "Good luck with that" That its a dull constant pain, that only goes away, the day before you get them tightened and the pain begins again. But as a glutton for punishment I decided to continue with it anyway.

So today was my appointment to have them put on. I'm a big chicken as we all know and just wanted it to be over. After waiting 1/2 hour, the dentist came to what I thought was prep me. At the last appointment, I was told I'd be put to sleep for this. As she worked and worked, I realized they weren't putting me to sleep after all....she lied.

Now that little suction thing makes it hard enough to talk. But in addition to that, I have this...mouth guard....cheek stretcher kinda thing in my mouth, that keeps it wide open, and of course, prevents you from saying anything that anyone else could understand. I'm reduced to nods whether or not I'm ok......

An hour later, she finished adhering the brackets to all my teeth and left the room to get the other orthodontist. I braved the view, and picked up the little mirror tool on the tray......I didn't expect to be thrilled but I was horrified when I saw she used the metal brackets as opposed to the ceramic ones I requested and am paying an extra two thousand bucks for. They must put something on top of these things I thought to myself. What, they are going to spray paint them white or something?

So when both orthodontists returned, and without the mouth thingy in, I was able to ask....'um, which part of these is ceramic?????' That look of UHOH flashed across their faces when they realized. They used the wrong ones. And the look of panic crossed my face when she said don't worry we can fix it. She then proceeded to remove ALL TWENTY......This won't hurt she says. Same way they were putting me to sleep, she lied. *sigh*

So not only did I have to get braces, I had to get them twice in one day. When she was finished, she goes "BEAUTIFUL!" I beg to differ. While my not so perfect teeth were, well, not so perfect, I find these things in my mouth far from beautiful. I have decent self confidence, but right about now I think I want to stay in my house for the next 12 months.

OH and did I mention, the food lover that I am, I can't chew. She said that's normal too and I will likely be unable to chew for the next 4-6 weeks. It was fitting that everyone around me on the train going home was eating right?? I guess at least I'll lose some weight.

....to be continued I'm sure.

My plea to the makers of white pants

PLEASE. PLEASE!!!! I know they are summertime pants usually. BUT PLEASE, can't the material be a little thicker??? I don't know. Maybe white clothe is sooo much more expensive that all white pants are so thin? Now, not everyone should wear white pants. I don't think I own any. And that's for a reason. In my humble opinion, usually only thin people look good in them. White is less forgiving of flaws such as cellulite than black is. But even thin people can mess up the look of white pants. For example. pink panties. blue panties with stars or any other object. WHY? Do people not realize how THIN white pants actually are? And that you can SEE right through them? Not that I stare because you can't help but notice...But ladies, your pink thong, because its a thong, does NOT solve the problem.
So with all this said, I beg the makers of white pants...can't you double up the material or something??? Or make em with a lining?? For the love of my eyes, PLEASE!!